Do you remember the last time you just HAD to have something?  That something you were convinced would change the way the world viewed you?  Would, in fact, change you in some fundamental way? That new pair of shoes that you’re certain will transform you into a sex goddess, that perfect sofa that expresses exactly who you are as an individual (or who you want to be), those sunglasses that let others know that you’re a hipster, jock, diva, sophisticate-however it is you wanted to be percieved?  Well, when I was 16, almost 17, my “something” was a short, tight, sleeveless denim dress made by Guess.  That’s right, I said it-a blue jean dress is all I thought I needed to transform me from a poor kid living in a pink trailer into a sophisticated, desirable woman.                                                           

You see, for most of my childhood and early teen years, I was what people refer to as stocky.  Not overweight but definitely SOLID. Solid AND short. My permed, stacked bob wasn’t doing me any favors either (think Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing, but shorter and not cute).

Well, when I was 16 going on 17 (for you musical lovers out there), I had slimmed down, had grown that perm out and had begun to notice that boys were looking at me differently.  So, essentially that jean dress was going to represent the NEW me.

Like most things that people think they just HAVE to have, this dress was way too expensive. I mean, it was like $80 whole dollars!  So, I did what any resourceful young woman would do. I told every single family member that the ONLY thing I wanted for my birthday was that dress and if they were planning on getting me something, all I wanted was cash so I could buy it.  I had to endure a lecture from my Mom about how gifts were supposed to come from the heart and it was thought that counted.  My reply was that MY heart really wanted that dress and if the family really THOUGHT about my happiness then they would give me money, so I could buy it!                                                                                                                                                         

After my birthday, I counted up the money and marched into that store like no one in the world had ever spent $80 on a dress before.  It was a pretty heady experience.

Now, you might think that afterward I had buyer’s remorse or regretted only getting one thing for my birthday…but you would be wrong.  Nope, I took every opportunity to wear that outfit.  Going to school?  I’ve got the perfect thing to wear.  Church?  Nothing says I love the Lord quite like a blue jean dress.  Trip to the convenience store?  Yep, I’ve got just the thing.

Basically, I thought I was hot shit.

What is the point of this story, you ask?  Well, my new car makes me feel the same way.  I don’t mean that I think that this car redefines me or anything.  Hell, I didn’t even really WANT to buy a new car.  However, I’ll admit driving it feels GOOD.  I love it and just like 17 years ago (WOW); I kind of feel like I’m hot shit all over again.

Of course, the truth is a lot less glamorous. I mean, it’s not like it’s a Bentley or anything.  There’s also the fact that I can’t park it straight. The key fob is a foreign concept to me and I’ve spent the last 3 days feeling like an 80-year-old woman with her first computer or cell phone. In the last 72 hours, I’ve accidently triggered the alarm 6 times, been startled by the Bluetooth woman’s voice 3 times after hitting the button on the steering wheel and I haven’t exactly mastered unlocking my back doors yet.  All in good time, I suppose.

Got someplace you need to go? I’ll drive, but you’ll have to get out and help me park when we get there.

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